Saturday, July 5, 2014

Priceless Inspiration: D.V. Interview #2

 These interviews are to help us all gain some understanding of Domestic Violence and begin to heal and help others. As stated previously, no names will be given and places will be changed to protect the victims.

Did the abuse start at the beginning or was it gradually? 

It was gradually, once I got pregnant

Were you in a relationship with your abuser? 

Yes I was 8 1/2 years

He hit you while you were pregnant?
      
      When I was about 3 months pregnant. We were playing around he spilled cereal on me so I pourd it on him he then shoved me against the wall...then I hit him back he then threw me on the bed and went on top of the bed standing acting as if he was going to kick me in the stomach. I begged him not to he was pretty much taunting me

Did you notice any signs beforehand?

  I notice some anger but it was towards his ex or other people. He use to call her out her name blame her for things. I should of known then.

  I would have to say he knew what he was doing one day (before I was pregnant). He called me name I slapped him and he never hit me back. It was when I was pregnant... It was when he knew I was scared

Did you ever report him? 
I was always afraid to report him.

The interviewee proceeds to tell about an incident that happened click read more




One night we went out to a night club. We were happy dancing ect. Well he thought I was flirting and he grabbed me on my cheek with his teeth. He actually dragged me out the club with my cheek in his mouth.

We got outside and well I got in the car with him he was hitting the dashboard upset. He made me drive I did...I couldn't stop crying and he wanted to drive. So he made me pull into a ally he got out the car started walking towards the drivers side. I sped off I was scared I thought he was going to hurt me bad. 

So I drive to one of my coworkers house at 3am. And she called the cops they came told me to press charges. I told them no. The cop then said if your scard he will think you called don't be. I see blood and I have to take you to the hospital. So just blame it on that. Well at the hospital I did. The cops then drove me home. And dropped me off and you know what they never checked my house for him. He was home. As soon as I got in he started to hit me because of the cops thing. He took me upstairs and called his mom. His mom told him that If I kept crying the cops will come. He then choked me. Put a pillow over my head and choked me.

What was your turning point?

My mom found out what was happening moved me He came as well. The abused continued. Then one day I wanted better. I saw that my son was getting older that one day his father will hit me and my son will do what any son would do and defend me. Then what his father would hit him and his one hit could really harm him. So I decided no more. I don't want that to happen.

2011 it was officially over. I spend time picking myself up. Defending myself. In 2012 I met my current boyfriend who I knew in highschool. He came in made me feel safe..told me not to be scard. I was in Counsling...

  I was picking up my pieces. I even put a protection order on him...because he was still threatening me. It felt great for me to had stood up to him. I am no longer afraid. Now don't get me wrong my anxiety is still going but not as bad. I feel free like no more walking on egg shells no more feeling scard. I found love a man who loves me loves my son. A man of God.


DO you have advice for other girls in your past situation?
    
    When you see the small signs take them as a big sign. If he can yell and call another women out her name he will do the same to you. Trust me when he hits you he's trying to see how far he can go. Will you hit back? Will you call the cops? With you leave? He's testing you so that he knows what he can or not do. Just leave...call the cops and leave. Don't give a man years of your life. That you can spend loving yourself..spend loving your kids... Or spend it with the man God has for you. A man with hit you once he will hit you again. He can kill you. I am blessed to have made it out. I am blessed!!!! I thank God every day. Also there is life... Love...happiness after a dark domestic relionship trust me. But instead of taking the chance to be killed or never knowing love LEAVE THAT MAN! HE NEEDS HELP NOT YOU! YOUR BEAUTIFUL STRONG YOU CAN DO IT!!

    Hes not worth it. Your so much better then that. Look yourself in the mirror right now. Tell yourself are you happy? Does he really make you happy? If you have kids, would you want your son to grow up and be like him? Would you want your daughter to feel the pain your feeling... The pain in your heart..soul and your body? No....then go! Go find yourself.. If your scard to leave reach out to family or a friend or the domestic violence organizations. Your stronger then what you think... Your stronger then he is. Hes a coward only cowards hit women.
     Go and feel free to laugh...be happy. Go and feel free to make mistakes without the fear that someone with yell or hit you. Go be free and happy. There's life after the darkness!

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